Vsetky vtipy,srandicky sem

[Snake]

Nadherny suvis s dnesnym "bugom" googlu



//Odmazané výplody fantázie a bordel z konca threadu

[Toman]

Pre pametnikou:

Kukuruku,stastie nove,chrumkave a kakaove.....



T.

[lacika]

[Snake]

Tak par z IRC vyberovka

< fRaz0r > there was a guy who ran into a bank with a gun and shouted freeze mother stickers this is a fuckup
< JennyRae > did he get any money?
< fRaz0r > all the people in the bank just laughed and he ran off embarrased lol
< JennyRae > darn... he didnt get any money.....

< yoozer > the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

< Lazzay > PREPARE ALL ASSES FOR IMMEDIATE ENTRY

< aamP > i named my two goldfish 1 and 2
< aamP > because if 1 died i still had 2

< Guyp > unreal uses the Super Mario Bros. engine

< JoeCuervo > i miss my gfs vagina...
< psychicbug > me too
< JoeCuervo > shaddap

< MrAnthrope > Uhg. My graphics card keeps crashing.
< knoeki > you obviously have a drunk driver

< asmcoded > anal sex is like hacking
< asmcoded > you go in through the backdoor and hope you dont meet a log

< HeatDeath > You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important
now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you.

< Comedy- > my beer needs an f5 button

< Mnemonix > your code was so bad it crashed pastebin

t0rbad > so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder > i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder > WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder > IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder > AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder > NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder > NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder > IN FACT
BlackAdder > IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder > I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder > SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad > so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError > right
heartless > Right.
r3v > right

< anamexis > oh man
< anamexis > I was opening a coke, right
-- > Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
< anamexis > and it exploded
< anamexis > ALMOST all over my keyboard
< anamexis > but I got it away just in time
< -- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
< anamexis > :<

< Sonium > someone speak python here?
< lucky > HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
< lucky > SSSSS
< Sonium > the programming language

< Batty > Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
< zeep > rapc?
< Batty > ...
< Batty > Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
< zeep > oic
< Batty > Though you could also say it's missing an e
< zeep > wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

< Khassaki > HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
< Judge-Mental > try pressing the the Caps Lock key
< Khassaki > O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
< Judge-Mental > fuck me

* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
< Strayed > he shot his girlfriend?

< @Merrick178 > I hope you get hit by an uninsured Mexican driving an ice cream truck with la bamba playing in the background

< Cotton Mouth > How do you describe the color blue to someone who is blind and has never seen a color before?
< NickBlasta > 0 0 255

< Fiz > i'd rather type than talk to a fucking computer
< Fiz > i feel stupid talking to a computer
< Fiz > talking to the TV is okay, because it talks back

< Zanthis(ALE) > AFK, tornado

< v_9 > All those who believe in Telekenesis raise my hand.

< noskill > I was banned from my junior highs network for having every printer in the school print 5000 pages of "FEED ME PAPER!" simultaneously

< blazemore > my brother is in a quake3 clan
< blazemore > and he had a ctf game tonight
< blazemore > we were walking out of tilt
< blazemore > his friend goes "dude hurry up, you're gonna be late for you clan meeting"
< blazemore > and these black guys were walking by
< blazemore > and looked like they were about to kick our asses

< rakpointzero > ashton kutcher as batman?
< nimereht > Dude, where's my batmobile?

< skrike > I think the people above me are having sex
< skrike > either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

< Cyan > Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
< Cyan > Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
< Cyan > So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
< Cyan > 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
< dan > Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!

< pihlopase > Jesus Saves
< jbroome > pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

GeoffSharron: a spider just hid inside my keyboard
GeoffSharron: and this sentence probably crushed him
GeoffSharron: i think he was under the m key
GeoffSharron: mmmm
GeoffSharron: m key
GeoffSharron: m m m m

< Ancalagon > We have here a message from the National Pancake Institute: Fuck Waffles

< JoshtheRipper > Brad do you have any issues with " burn in " on your plasma?
< KnaveBrad > nope
< JoshtheRipper > kool
< JoshtheRipper > How well does it handle blacks
< KnaveBrad > I have it bolted to the wall, so they can't really take it without some serious work

[MBG]

Keď je Snake hladný:

Bago/MBG (16:40:14 2/02/2009)
dobru chut

Snake (16:40:40 2/02/2009)
skoda ze jedlo nie je jak HTML

Snake (16:41:43 2/02/2009)
< chlieb >
< šunka width="2plátky"/ >
< syr align="center"/ >
< maslo style="rama"/ >
< /chlieb >

..."profesionálna deformácia"...

[Toman]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Jw-Nv3Nset8&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Jw-Nv3Nset8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Danix64]

Kopytovci - aka fucka



LOL na druhú    

[materik]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wr24iPXhFJc&feature=related" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Toman]

Obluda!!!! (+15) otvarat len na vlastne nebezpecie!!!!!

[Snake]

[icefire]

pri potulkoch na webblogoch som nasiel pri diskusii o GTA4 toto:

Tento článok sa netýka mojej zostavy ale paradoxu doporučených a reálnych konfigurácii. 9500GT je 1 GB karta, dokonca 2 GB ale má 1 GB zdieľanej, shader 3.0, DirectX 10.1, Crysis na tom beží ako hodinky na Full na 1680*1050 na AVG. ~ 49 FPS. AMD Phenom X3 64 je pritom procesor iba o radu nižší ako Quatro kedže toto je najvyššia rada X3-iek. A nato že poskladaný stál 15 000 SKK je to podľa mňa dobrý výber.

fakt perly, ked taketo osoby rozdavaju rady
a este: 9500GT v SLI mode:

Je to sice DDR2, ale to ze ma 550 MHz zbernice a tech. 65nm ktora je pol roka stara, je na gigovu kartu dost. SLI podporuje, kupit dve, dostat z toho DDR5 2 GB kartu cca. asi ako 4850 HD nieje problem. A mimochodom Crysis na Ultra ak rozbehas na notasku cca. v tejto dobe v celkovo dobrej cenovej relacii, tak do 15 000 budem fakt zvedavy. Mám doma ASUS za 23 000 dvojjadro s 3 GB RAM ale ver tomu ze do notebooku nebudu davat okrem ATI Mobility alebo nVidia 8800 > aj to GTX max. nic. Celkovo je 9500GT v SLI o 100 % lepsia ako nejaka ATIna Sapphire cez CrossFire. Zaprve su tie ATIny o nicom, pri ich zastaralosti a funkcionalite hadam este z cias 400 MX je to cista strata penazi. 9500GT je ~ rade 8800 GTX co je grafika dobra, az na to ze do 9500GT bola pridana pamat a zvysena taktovacia schopnost. A mimochodom na trojjadro si nebudem brat GTX 295 alebo GTX 260, lebo by som ju nevyuzil.

[Gudas]

Téma automatické preklady spam-u opäť, tentoraz fakt perla:

[Snake]

Gudas, z toho si nič nerob, mne chodia spammy s názvom "Angelina Jolie XXX Video" ale nikdy tam nič neni!!!

//vzdy sa pozries ze ci nahodou predsa len .... co ? , gammaray
//neOTckuj!! Snake

[lacika]

http://www.zvraceny.cz/video/7248-eny-za-volantem/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[cool_point]

http://www.mojevideo.sk/video/603/noc_v_roxbury.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;




Dedinske dievca porodi syna a zvali to na mäsiara. Mäsiar to chce utajit, sak samozrejme si ju nechce teraz koly tomu vziat, tak sa s nou dohodne, ze kym syn nedovrsi 18. rok zivota, tak bude dostavat kazde rano kus masa zadarmo. Tak teda masiar pocita dni, jeden za druhym. Najprv chodi ona, potom, ked je syn starsi, tak chodi po denny pridel on sam. Dni plynuli, a konecne nastal den 18-tych chlapcovych narodenin. Chlapec ako vzdy prichadza do mäsiarstva. Mäsiar mu naposledy odkroji kus bôčika a ked mu ho dava do ruky, tak hovori :
->Teraz bez domov, povedz mame, ze toto je moja posledna splatka a sleduj ako sa zatvari...
CHlapec prisiel domov a urobil co mal... Nato mu mama odpovie :
->Teraz bez este raz do mäsiarstva a povedz, ze za poslednych 18 rokov som mala kazdy den zadarmo aj ryby, cerstve rozky a mlieko; a sleduj, ako sa zatvari